shovel list.

check out my latest tumblr post about creating a shovel list.
because bucket lists are dumb.

(tumblr is the way of the future, sorry blogspot. for now.)

unfinished no.4 & SUPERMOON

i once read that there's no gravity at the center of the earth

so i'm going to grab my shovel and dig until i hit the core and 

pretend i'm in outer space, flying without falling and floating
  without fading away

until the lava gets too hot and a million tiny volcanoes push me
  back up

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today is SUPERMOON day. at 12:11 pm mountain time, the moon will be the fullest it's been in eighteen years. which may not seem that exciting. but it is. the orbit of the moon is elliptical (thanks galileo!), so that means that sometimes it's closer to earth and sometimes it's farther away at fullmoontimes. but even if it's closer in its orbit, it hasn't been this close since 1993. and i was only two back then, so needless to say the universe is trying to send me a message. or maybe not, but i'm sure it will still look awesome. then again, isn't everything that ever happens the universe trying to tell us something? i guess that's how people see things if they're into that whole, i'm-at-the-center-of-the-universe philosophy. which i'm sure is most human beings at one stage or another of their lives.but that's not what this SUPERMOON is about. at least, not the usual kind of message.

anyway, the SUPERMOON will only be 221,566 miles away from the earth today/tonight. that number might not mean anything to you, because it's really just six numbers strung together that somehow human rationality (or human folly) has given meaning to. more numbers: according to natgeo, the SUPERMOON will be twenty percent brighter and fifteen percent bigger than a regular full moon. so, if you think of a purse...that's fifteen percent more expensive than another purse, and twenty times brighter, then...well, you get the idea. purses are infinitely less cool than the moon, though. astronomers throw out these numbers, but they say that most "casual observers" won't even be able to notice the difference. 

my goal for the day and the night: DON'T BE A CASUAL OBSERVER. nature is infinitely more powerful and awesome than anything human ingenuity and innovation can create (although oreo milkshakes are close to being an exception). and it's our awesome opportunity, and responsibility, to notice nature all around us and force ourselves to leave our overly-human and overly-artificial world to be transported to some higher level, even for just a few minutes of looking at a full moon. the earth is the center of our universes, that's for sure. but think of how small this one planet is in this galaxy, and in the collection of however many galaxies actually exist. 

the SUPERMOON is an opportunity for us to be closer to another part of this galaxy and maybe feel a little more grounded in our own place in the universe. but, it's not at all a negative reminder. the sight of a giant, bright disk in OUTER SPACE rising over the horizon in the east as a brilliant sun sets in the west in a redyelloworangebluepurpleindigo and finally darkblueblack sky should be an unstoppably inspiring sight. galileo didn't invent the telescope, but he was the one who decided to point it up to look at the stars. and the things he discovered have defined our lives and reinvented scientific discovery ever since. cold war politics aside, the space race also redefined how the world works and shattered the mental distance between "us" and outer space. nasa inspired thousands of little kids to wear fish tanks on their heads and sit in the washing machine, pretending they're headed to the great unknown frontier of SPACE. and just think, if we had never tilted our heads up and looked out at the millions of stars up there, we would never have even met luke skywalker. life without starwars, now that's a bleak vision.


people use their own busy lives and everything going on in the world as an excuse, often unconsciously, to not notice the bigger world (the universe) around them. but now, this SUPERMOON presents us the perfect opportunity to actually realize that we are a part of something way huger than anything going on in our lives. nature and the natural order of the universe, no matter what your perspective is on its creation, is the most powerful force that exists and ever has existed, and it in turn inspires all the human forces of hope, love, inspiration, creativity, faith. go climb a mountain and look out over the whole world and try to tell yourself that you're still worried about a business meeting or an exam. it's not possible because you realize how all that is just insignificant in the grand scheme of themes. 

i'm not trying to sound like a hippie or environmentalist or any of the other labels we throw at people these days, but to be closer to nature and to grow in love and admiration for the natural forces at work all around us is to grow as human beings and be the best possible versions of ourselves we can be. paying attention to nature keeps us grounded (or in the case of space, UNgrounded in the best possible way) and lets us truly imagine a better world, use creativity and imagination to transport ourselves to a better place and to, in turn, use that more radiant and pure energy to turn our focus back to our human world and make it better. this transformative power is what is at the core of this SUPERMOON. 

when dante and virgil emerge from the inferno into the "bright world," dante writes:

"We climbed, he first and I behind, until,
    through a small round opening ahead of us
    I saw the lovely things the heavens hold,
and we came out to see once more the stars."

Gustave Dore's illustration of this canto in Inferno

emerging from a harrowing and literally hellish journey, the first thing dante appreciates is the stars. nature and OUTERSPACE have the immensely inspirational power to transport us from whatever place we're in in our lives and drive us to hope and smile and to imagine better. whether it's the hope of being reunited with beatrice and seeing paradise like dante, or even just the hope of  a better day tomorrow, i am endlessly grateful to those that have tilted their heads up before me, and to those who continue to do so today.

so go look outside at 12:11 pm today, or anytime tonight and especially around sunset time, to see the coolest thing you've seen in a while. and don't be a CASUAL OBSERVER. and come on, admit to yourself and to the world that a little part of you has always been, and always wants to be, an astronaut. don't let anything stop you from putting a fish tank on your head and sitting in a cardboard box pretending it's a spaceship. because pretending is awesome.


(human points for not being a CASUAL OBSERVER during the SUPERMOON: five. because even if you're just standing or sitting staring into space, you're being inspired and you will then use that creative, inspired energy to make someone's day better and to live your life at least a little more energetically and enthusiastically, with greater compassion an kindness. the real challenge is how to hold onto that idea of a higher level of living when all the world around you wants to do is break you down and take away all your energy.)

the wave world

so i've been really into out-there ideas lately, probably because i read the time traveler's wife. which by the way is definitely one of the most well-written books ever written. ever. written. anyway, so i had this idea of time traveling and genetic anomalies in my head already, when i decided to write my psychology paper about near-death experiences. i thought that i would just read about how it's mostly a hoax and then write a paper about how they're not hoaxes, just to help the t.a. grading 135 papers to not want to jump off a high building for a little while.

 so i was reading all about near-death experiences and the experiencers, about what they see and how they feel coming back into life. and i realized that they aren't  hoaxes, but real, spiritual (or at least non-physical) experiences. i immersed myself in it for a huge chunk of my sunday last week, ignoring tons of hockey games and my growing to do list. but it was so worth it.

there is this growing subfield in psychology that you could call quantum mechanics psychology, if you really wanted to give it a name. these scientists/psychologists are applying the infinitely complex ideas of quantum physics to the human mind and human existence in general. i'm no physicist, and if i knew any physicists i would make fun of them for choosing such outrageous careers. but the general idea is that human consciousness has both the dimensions of particles, of this physical and living world we know, and of waves, of the higher quantum world. these two dimensions are always present at the same time. the wave world is a space where the past, present, and future exist all at all times. so, every human being is connected to this wave-field dimension while we're alive in this physical world.

in terms of death and near-death experiences, this means that really, we never die. it doesn't matter your religious views, because even if you're some doubting, existentialist snob, here is a solid scientific theory for you. the fear of death is a universal fear, across all cultures and throughout history. it's why people (me included) choose to believe in life beyond death and the impossibility that we. just. die. but with this wave world idea, our consciousness lives on beyond our physical life and truly, we never die. american statesman daniel webster's last words were, "i still live. pretty." in they beyondworld, truly we live on.

but on a less extreme level, this whole wave world idea is also important to our lives right now. we aren't just individuals living separate and unconnected lives. this idea argues that we are in fact connected on a completely spiritual level, in the eternal collective conscious of every human (and animal?) that has ever lived and will ever live. our consciousness lives outside of us and extends beyond our life. as unsettling as this idea might be, it should be a endlessly hopeful comfort, because we are not alone. this united, indestructible, eternal collection of consciousness unites us all and should make us realize that we are all in this together. and this idea is also an endlessly inspiring force to live by, to wake up each day and know that we are part of the world on a deeper, higher level.

if this theory is true, or more importantly, if we choose to believe in it, maybe we wouldn't be afraid of helping others anymore. or maybe we would not be so aimless and unsettled. and maybe, we wouldn't be afraid of letting go or dying. and, even more important, maybe we wouldn't be afraid to truly live and be alive. to believe in the inifinitepossibilityness of the world and of our own super powers.

ideas like this wave world theory help us understand the grand mystery of what it means to live, and launch us endlessly into an exploration of what lies beyond. to be taken out of our ordinary rituals and routines, even if just for the amount of time it takes to read this blog, is essential to expanding our understanding of ourselves and the grander meaning, whatever that may be. we might not be able to time travel or be kid wizards who save the world, but we can make positive changes and work hard to make the world a better place, little by little. and the fact that we are all so connected in this wave world only fuels this conviction in the power of hope and empathy. why not bring the connectedness down to this world? in the words of philosopher pierre teilhard de chardin, "we are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience."

and to test out my theory that people really only read things if there are pictures: here's a picture from natgeo, of a place in norway called "the world's end." which is probably the coolest name for a place ever. and it looks like a really cool place too. plus it seemed kind of related to the wave world idea.

sandcastle shovel: unfinished no.3

sam dug through days and nights and oceans and centuries of human life and the age of dinosaurs and reached the center of the earth with his sandcastle shovel after eighty-eight years.

this will show them, he said out loud as he smiled. this will show them that i can do it.

he gazed for a while at the hot, pulsating core, absorbed in the regular rhythm of the earth. after an hour, or a year, or a decade, he picked up his sand castle shovel, turned his back on the magma and the gold and the dinosaur bones, and began to climb back up through the hole to his backyard.

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i saw this awesome video on scott west's blog the other day. (scott west is an artist from minnesota, also one of the live painters for cloud cult.) it will make you a better person if you watch it. also, the music is great (by a band called gungor, actually based in denver). also, the story behind the video is great. and so is the cineatography and everything. just overall a great video. check it out --> here!


challenge to make the world better: learn to draw a sailboat. like this one:

and then draw sailboats all over the place. like on tax returns and credit applications and phone message pads and shopping lists and tests and everything. because seeing a sailboat makes being an adult with capital R responsibilities a lot easier. it'll definitely make your day, and it'll make all the accountants and police officers and landlords and electricians you give all your adult documents to happy, too. (human points: 13. because sailboats are the best.)

boxes of cheerios: five.

sailboats are great! (unfinished no.2)

unfinished no.2

charlie wanted to sail since the first day he saw the sea
he ate his spinach and drank his chocolate milk
    so he could grow big and strong like all the sailors he saw
he built a blue sailboat out of popsicle sticks and
    bark from tough and tall trees
and sewed a patchwork sail from weathered tee shirt scraps and
    lonely yellow rain jackets
he packed his blue backpack full of cookies and crayons
    and set sail into the early morning sunrise

he sailed and explored and adventured across days and years and
    seasons, ages and eras and epochs of traveling time
and through rain and mist and sun showers and storms
    that howled like monsters in the nightlightless dark
the cottonball clouds and glowinthedark stars kept him company
    and he drew crayon kingdoms to remember all he'd seen
the castles and the rainforests and the deserts, and
    the cliffs and the icebergs and the tiny towns

one night the sunset glowed roseindigoblue on the horizon and
    charlie yawned as his sleepy eyes saw lights and land ahead
he knew he was home because of the way the little houses smiled all around
    and because his little brown dog waited waggingly for him on the dock
he jumped from his blue boat and ran up the hill to his house and
    found hot soup and a bowl of chocolate ice cream waiting for him



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challenge to make the world better: go outside and shovel someone's driveway for them. but don't wear all black and be super creepy about it. because then you might end up in the back of a police car. (human points, if you don't end up in jail: ten.) alternative: if you're at starbucks, buy a big hot chocolate and give it to the homeless person outside. because chances are, there's a homeless person outside. (human points: twelve).*

*human points may seem like arbitrary numbers. that's probably because they are. but wait, here's a scale:
 -->1-10: you're being a good human being.
 -->11-20: you're literally made of awesome. 
 -->21-30: you are out of this world good at being human. 
 --> anything above 31: either you're mother theresa, or you cheated.  

boxes of honey nut cheerios: three.

unfinished no.1

when you're five
you believe you're invincible
       (because you are)
you believe you can move the clouds
       by just asking nicely
you know that home is wherever your mom and dad tuck you in at night
       in the room with the dinosaur nightlight
       that keeps the monsters under the bed
you're a knight and a king and an astronaut
       all in the same day and all while
       wearing a red and blue striped shirt
the bumps and bruises from falling off your skateboard
       or from a crash landing when flying off the swings
       are just battle scars that make you smile
       after your mom kisses them and your tears dry
everyday is a treasure hunt and
       everything is a clue
you think the world is yours to explore
       (because it is)
       and the future belongs to you.

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challenge to make the world better: go for a drive and wave at strangers as you pass them. (a positive prank version of the old, honk-and-wave-the-other-way trick.) even though they might be confused and a little creeped out, they'll eventually appreciate the fact that a complete stranger was friendly to them and then they might keep the friendliness going. bonus human points* if you roll down your window and say hi, or give them a sandwhich.

*human points = extra points in life for being a real human being and making the world a better place. imagine that life is a game and to win you have the get the most human points. and kill the most zombies. but mostly, it's the human points part. 


boxes of honey nut cheerios: three. 


monday morning music:
the tallest man on earth

clouds&resolutions

i like looking at the clouds, not because i'm a flower child or anything because i'm totally not, but because they remind me of being a kid and children's books and just everything awesome about the world. because when you're a kid and looking up at the clouds you don't care that you have homework to do, or that you're fighting with your brother, and you don't know or care that the clouds are actually moving because the world is spinning around and around with you on top of it. (or is it wind? science was never my strongest subject.)

all you see is clouds that look like dragons and knights and monsters and your grandfather and france and pointing fingers and anything else your young and unhindered mind can dream up. that's why i love clouds.

the other day i saw this awesome cloud/cloud group because colorado has awesome clouds all the time.

i think it looks like a dragon twisting its head around towards its tail to firebreathe on whatever is following it. probably an airplane or a hot air balloon. and then it kind of morphed as the clouds moved and it looked like something completely different. cloudwatching is awesome. if you ever have writer's block or just a general lack of inspiration and creativity and imagination, just go outside and hope there are clouds and then watch some clouds!


anyway, now that it's 2011, i've got a fresh list of resolutions to not follow up on. although the top of the list is "actually follow through with this year's resolutions," so we'll see if that makes me work harder. my number two? "enjoy life and write more letters."


challenge to make the world better: learn some words in a foreign language so that if you ever go to that country you can brighten a foreign stranger's day by being able to say "i love you" and "please" and "thank you" and "you have a nice butt" (i'm going with swedish)

monday morning music:

rogue valley. album: the bookseller's house









boxes of honey nut cheerios in 2011: one. (i started before the year turned 2011 though, so i didn't really eat a whole box in two and a half days. but i could have.)